Love Yourself Before Being Loved!
I suddenly realized that maybe, just maybe, for the meantime, I don’t need love.
Well, everybody needs love but maybe, for now, I don’t need the romantic kind of love; affection willingly given by another soul.
How can I reciprocate that love if I loosely embrace myself, if I timidly kiss my self-worth, if I cannot romanticize on the thought of loving myself first before I am allowing another living soul to love the very body I failed to love, to take care of the same mind I presuppose neglected in the hands of self-doubt and anxiety. How can I allow somebody to hold my hands if I cannot hold it on those nights that it won’t stop shaking from the panic attacks? How can I agree to someone who looks at me with adoration and so much appreciation, if I tend to disagree with the idea that the person standing in front of the mirror has a beautiful soul?
Maybe I still need to expand my horizons, go to places I haven’t been to yet. Meet new people who will encourage me from the stories they will share and just have a freedom to be lost across different roads, be who I want to be, and do whatever I want to do without having another living soul to think about.
Maybe I must become everything I’ve been expecting other people to become for me. Maybe I need to be my own favorite person for now. Maybe it was necessary for me to feel more pain and heartaches because I am my own safety. I should be my own stronghold for the storms. I am the single living soul who knows how to quiet the demons in my mind and patch up the wounds in the darkest creases of my heart.
Maybe it’s my turn now to kiss my own scars for I am the only one who knows how deep they are, I’m the only who understand how painful they were. Maybe all I need right now is myself because I need to identify the relationship I want to have with my own. To learn more about what kind of love I am looking for. Maybe I need to love my heart the way no one ever did and no one ever knew how.
Maybe, just maybe being in love with our own selves isn’t really that bad, or that sad. It doesn’t mean we are going to live our life by ourselves; we just need to figure out and work on the most significant and most wonderful relationship of our life – our relationship to ourselves